my Lou

I finally found a moment to take Lucien to the Health Nurse for his 6-8 month check up. At nine months old (yikes!). Obviously I wasn't worried about his development in any way. Have a look at the photo, he's a baby, plus, plus.

We it's actually official now. He is a champion baby. Because we hadn't spent much time around other babies, I'd totally lost my judgement about his size and heft. But the nurse confirmed my suspicions today. His weight is average for a 12 month old and his height and head circumference is average for a 15 month old! At nine months! Go Lou!

People had commented on how big he is, and my line was usually something about him having taken an evolutionary leap, and with us being tall and all....Now I have some stats to thrill them with.

This week he has mastered crawling and zooms over to me whenever I appear. The new mobility has borne new attitude too and he's constantly tussling with Gabriel and growling at him when he can't get what he wants. Good on you Lou, my nugget champion.

a medal

Very early this morning I had one of those parenting experiences that should earn you a badge of honour for service to the infant community.

Lucien has a cold- blocked nose, phlegmy cough, generally annoyed. No temperature, so he's not dopey or too unhappy. But he is unwell, and this cold has his throat on a hair trigger. When he woke for his usual 5am bottle he guzzled it down, then sat up, coughed and threw it all up, all over me and himself and the couch.

No matter, I changed him, wiped the couch and got new pyjamas on myself. Then he sat up on my knee, burped and followed through with a huge vomit, again. So I changed him, wiped off the couch, changed me and I brought him into my bed to snuggle down and snooze until dawn.

In my bed, he coughed, it caught in his throat and heave ho, away we go again. Yep, threw up all on my bed, the doona, my last clean pyjama/t-shirt and himself. Again. Bugger. I never knew 240mls could stretch so far.

So I stripped the bed, made it fresh, found the last clean item he had to wear, dug out my year 12 school t-shirt (like, the bottom, bottom of the wardrobe pile) and at 6.05 we finally snuggled in. I had been awake and changing clothes for an hour. At 6.25 Gabriel woke and could not be tricked into going back to sleep, Lucien could not be settled either and so we began the day. It's a tough morning, let me tell you. For a start the washing pile is already half a metre high!

Only when I'm flagging at 8pm in the evening and berating myself for not getting on top of everything I need to do before the next day do I remember. 'Oh yeah, you have been awake since 5am. Time for bed, brainiac."

It wasn't a particularly gross ordeal, nor stressful, Louie wasn't screaming or distressed. Last night was not really badge of honour stuff like midnight rushes to casualty or like when 3am gastro strikes. It's just sometimes I wish I wasn't doing this alone. Right now, in particular, this morning, I wanted a helper. A husband who was home to share part of this burden with me, just someone else to help. But we always want what we can't have, right? This is the lot of the baker's wife.

Blogging recommenced!

Oh my goodness. Yes, I'm back. Well, it's only been what, 9 or so months since I last posted. Surely some of you out there are still checking in with me?! Thanks if you are!!

I see from the last post that you are waiting patiently to find out all about my baby. Well he did arrive, and so much more I'm going to give you the abridged version so we can get on with the real business of blogging.

So, on the 29th October last year Lucien Robert arrived. A beautiful, huge baby rushed into the world (truly, waters broke at 9:50 pm, he was born at 11:30pm. Phew!) and commenced his delightful reign over our lives.

Two weeks later we learned that the business the baker works in was for sale. Interesting. And if it could not be sold by Christmas, the owner would close and everyone would be out of a job. Hmmm. Alarming.

So we tootled off to the bank, baby tucked under one arm, financial history under the other, and by January we were business owners. Yes! A bakery of our very own.

I'm hoping you can see now where the last nine months have disappeared to. Three months of new baby and harrowing business purchase negotiations then without a pause the running of our own business, with two children and seriously mortgaged. Things got real interesting...

I've decided that the focus of my blog is going to be about the business. Previously it was about saving money as a home maker. Now I'm going to talk about business making as a home maker. What we have learnt in the past six months I never, ever read in any small business books, nor was there any mentor who could help us with the serious decisions we faced everyday, and still do face.

This is of course the first lesson of owning your own business- no one is going to tell you how to run it. There's no management manual, no book of accounting, no decision making checklist.

The point is, I talk to my hospitality friends who run businesses, I talk to accountants and lawyers, to people who advise big business, but a guide about owning a hospitality business is difficult to find. Perhaps we can build one together.

I'll also be posting about my family and stuff I cook, since that's really what I'm comfortable talking about. So keep checking in. I'll do my utmost to reward your interest!

the beginning of something new

My baby (not really, he's 18 months now!) is having his first sleepover at Nanny's house tonight. I'm so excited. Probably because he woke us at 5am this morning and could not be tricked into having another snooze, so breakfast was at 5:40am instead of the usual 6:30-7am. But not tomorrow, sonny jim. Ha ha!

I do believe that with your children you have to be 'ready' to do something, like leaving them with others for the first time, pushing their limits and your own trying by something new. Others will encourage and push you to do things- my Mum was all set for us to go to a large family gathering at a restaurant when he was 2 weeks old, which I was not doing at all. And I was glad we didn't go because I wasn't ready to tackle that scenario. But with this sleepover I am totally ready. I thought to myself this morning that I will feel no guilt at all leaving someone else to cope with him for one night and morning. So I must be ready. Because if there's one thing I am it's a guilt ridden mother. Especially about leaving him. But he so loves it with my family and he sleeps most of the night, so what is there to worry about?

Now if only we had a bathtub to luxuriate in, my evening would have been perfect.....And for sure I'll be awake by 6:30am anyway, but ooohh, not having to get up is a secret thrill. And not being woken up by the sound of someone whining and grizzling is another secret pleasure. And I'm saving the good parts of the paper to read with my hot cup of tea at breakfast. Without having to sing Wiggles or Bananas tunes. Oh, the life I miss!

feed me

Feeding a toddler is fun and tricky. Or not fun and distressing. Sometimes it's fun and distressing at the same time. Timing is everything, as is repetition. It's a learned skill and something I'll probably obsess over forever.

I know that it's tricky, not only because of my own experience, but because I browsed 'kid's food' at the library and found just how much has been written about this issue. It's serious. I left with three books, just as a starter! And then there's what I find online.

I read a bit when G first started on solids and have topped up my reading when my motivation has been low or I've found myself at the end of my tether with a baby who goes for days on only avocado, sultanas and yoghurt. It's a huge topic to cover, with nutrition, fussiness, development, and then the massive allergy issues. Something I know our parents really didn't worry so much about. 'Peanut butter and eggs for everyone! Soy? Isn't that for dim-sims?'

But my interest in food and nutrition was re-invigorated recently. I was having a guilty moment, reflecting on how much my unborn baby has been ignored during house preparations while I considered the detrimental impact of the chemicals I had been practically bathing in for two weeks. What was I thinking? Bleach, sugar soap, paint, carpet chemicals, metho, caustic, all being processed by my body into that of the tiny foetus inside me. I still shudder thinking about it.

I decided I had to take some steps to right my potential wrongs. I was worn down, dry, wrung out and felt yukky. Imagine how G and that poor baby were feeling! But where to start? I had taken loan of a book from my bosses wife, an avid 'natural' mum. This book I knew of before, but I had only glanced it's way, as it seemed a bit too full on for me.

Anyway, I read it and found it wasn't so radical, afterall. Through this chiroprators advice I could see a way to making changes that could benefit the whole family, back-up our commitment to our health and well-being without having to immediately strip back our whole life and start again. Me and my babies would feel better.

Firstly, organic. As much as I can get where we are. I started with the chemicals. As I may have said before, I am a devout, passionate enjo user, so we don't have any household cleaners anyway. But my hands were still shredded from all the washing with detergent, and that stuff is not the purest I can buy. Switch. Same for the body and baby washes. Organic, phosphate free etc. G's skin is already improving and I feel better about it, if nothing else. As other things of this type run out I'll simply be replacing them with the pure stuff. Washing powder all switched, with no bother since I hated the fumes from regular powders anyway.

Then to the kitchen. Organic milk was simple to get. Yoghurt ditto. It stretched the bakers brain to accomodate the cost, since I'd been so pro-cost cutting, but I just looked at him like 'we HAVE to, ok?' and he hasn't said much about it since. But I'll tell you what I've noticed- regular milk stinks to me now. I'd rather have black tea. Revelation. I have also sought out alternative cheeses- sheep's milk and goat's- to vary our dairy consumption. It was easier than I thought. Pecorino is a great sub for parmesan, in fact a bit sharper if you like that, and goat's cheese comes from spreadable through to hard, so there's enormous choice. And the sheep's feta (from Bulgaria) is so tangy and delicious, a better accompaniment for my avocado on toast diet cannot be found!

Then the other switches I've made have involved seeking out alternative grain/wheat/flour sources. Not just organic, but different flour, to vary our diet and displace a bit of our white flour consumption. Millet flour, buckwheat, quinoa and rolled barley (like oats) have all found a place in our cupboard without a hitch. When I've been baking I go half/half flour substitution, without much difference, except for the flavour. Millet flour has a mild flavour, while buckwheat can be quite overpowering for some things. Fine for adding flavour to plain baking (scones, pikelets, fritter batters) but where there are other ingredients, like nuts, fruits or chocolate, it can over-ride those easily. Which just makes your cake taste funny. And the gluten in these flours (or lack of) can really mess your recipes up. A case of try it and see, and make sure you write down what you did. Or like me, you'll forget and forever be testing recipes!

In some cases I didn't even have to seek out 'special' foods. For many foods it was as simple as reading the ingredients list. Stupid, I know, but a bag of sultanas HAS an ingredients list, since it's not just sultanas in there, but often oil and sometimes a preservative of some kind, like sulphur dioxide. It's very common, such that you'd think it was normal, but if you look hard enough, you can find natural sultanas with nothing else, in the supermarket. Dates too. Apricots and figs you may have to hit the healthfood shop for. It's worth thinking about if you are concerned about food sensitivities and your toddler. Once again I am struck- cooking for yourself from basic ingredients will always win out, cost and healthwise. So why are our supermarket aisles choc-a-block full of crap?

I'm seeking out organic meats. I think contacts must be made through the local farmers market. Vegies is a tricky one, since I'm so addicted to my home delivery box, and it's such good value. I have made a commitment to get our own organic garden going, so we can supplement with 'own grown' delights.

Making these changes was so simple, in terms of finding alternatives easily in supermarkets and healthfood shops locally. But the choice to do so covers so many issues I shan't be going into it here. I can feel the personal hysteria bubbling below the surface. From farming techniques, processing and transport, sale and cost, across the spectrum of mass food production issues to an individuals health preferences and lifestyle aspirations, the choice to try and be more natural and organic is political, environmental and personal. I know about all these things, but for me, it's about health and well-being, vitality and simplicity. While meeting the budget, that is!

Funny what happens. I was just trying to find something to feed my toddler!

the surprise

The house has consumed our lives. Poor G has been with Nanna and Grandad non-stop for the past four days. He is fine there, and well occupied and adored, but he's a bit lost. He clings and grizzles all the way home, all through dinner and struggles to go to bed. It's going to take a bit for him to recover from this experience. And then he'll have to move into a new house!

The baker and I wake up energised, full of plans and strategies. We get to the house and wander in circles, attending to bits and pieces. People come by, we stop and give them a tour, explain what's happening. By then it's about 4pm, time to collect the baby boy and wind up for the day again. I feel like we are getting nothing done. It's very frustrating.

But so much has happened!

We had a lot of little jobs to attend to preparing the walls for painting. We set to pulling off the faux wooden panels that lined the walls. Reveal lines of ancient glue needing to be scraped off with a blade or removed with solvent. Reveal a huge gap between concrete panels on the feature lounge wall. Gap filler, metal strip, leave it?

That was sidelined when we found the carpet rotten in front of the bathroom and along the wall in the little bedroom, meaning that the shower may be leaking. Huge issue, since we are putting down all new floor coverings and do not want them ruined by damaged plumbing. Investigate that. No real solution yet, but much discussion about ripping out the shower and putting in the bath. Back to the panels. Reveal sticky 70's wallpaper lining the kitchen walls. Steamer and scraper needed. Reveal a hidden door in the loungeroom wall.

Well, this was something we wanted to do later on- put a doorway through the kitchen to the lounge. But look! It's here already! However, on the other side of the door our kitchen bench and wall cupboards cover it. They are attached to the wall. Do we demolish the kitchen and utilise the doorway? How can we live without a kitchen? Why would we not use the doorway when we wanted it anyway?

So the kitchen is ripped from the wall and the termite riddled door smashed through. Wow. But oh, wow, you know? Suddenly we are in the middle of a renovation. One we were not going to do. In fact the discussions have been all about a kitchen and bathroom renovation. The two most expensive and time consuming things to do in a house! Money and time we do not have. We have time for paint and carpet.

The simplest ideas have snowballed and we are having to decide and react quickly in circumstances completely new to us. On a deadline. Thank goodness for those family members who have shown up with their reno experience and skills. This week I have realised how good it is to know useful people, and how many useless people there are in the world. Including the 'customer advisors' at Bunnings.

So where are we after three days? It's amazing, really. The bedrooms have been washed, holes patched, and two of the three ceilings painted. Tomorrow I am going to finish the bedrooms. And wash the hall. And prepare the doors, maybe. That's half the house done.

The baker has fixed the ceiling, scraped the glue. His Mum painstakingly removed the wallpaper, so tomorrow he'll be fixing the gap in the lounge and set about washing the ceilings and priming the walls to paint. I think. He may have other plans.

We must call the carpet guys and demand 10% off the quote they gave us. We must call the laminte guy and have him back to re-measure, since the kitchen has gained another couple of metres of floor space. We must find a plumber to confirm where our leak is. I have to call the water people and the council.

Oh, and tomorrow our current house is open for inspection....

Dear, beloved friends, you have been so patient with me, while so much has happened here...

This month we bought a house! As I moaned earlier, this is a long process, where decisions must be made quickly, but the time between decisions is fraught with worry. That is all over now, and we are heading towards settlement, trying to choose carpet and paint colours for a home we have seen twice.

It's great though, a big step towards our other goal, of owning our own business. Brilliant.

Meanwhile, it has come to pass that we are also expecting our second baby! Very exciting. It explains why I found decision making so difficult the past few weeks and why I've been feeling nauseous every afternoon at 4pm. So onward and upward to November. We'll be well settled in our new home, freshly painted and carpeted, summer seedlings established by the time the new little one is here. Although saying that now makes me feel exhausted. So much to do!

Our savings plan is under heavy, heavy scrutiny, since we will shortly be back to one income.
Also, owning a house has brought along a new world of expenses to consider, and it seems that everyone wants money from us. My biggest bugbear at present is insurance. They prey on your worst nightmares and then find a way to really hurt you. Get this- one policy will pay you an amount if you get a serious illness, but this payment renders your life insurance void. So if (ahem, when) you die, your family will not be entitled to a lump sum payment, since you already received one while you were alive. But, there is a buy-back option, where you can opt to buy back your 'death' insurance, in the event of having cashed-out on the serious illness policy. Thoughtful, no? It's a really ugly business. I have encountered a lot of sheepish looking sales people, peeping guiltily out from under dropped eyes. They know it's bad too!

We are doing our utmost to avoid and minimise new expenses, without being foolish, but there's not much room to move now. Our repayments are managable, just, and we need to use this time with two incomes and no mortgage to get a bit of cash stashed for later. It's tricky, because I find myself tempted into spending by thinking 'Oh, soon we won't be able to do this at all..'. Self sabotaging must end.

Now that my energy is level and my stomach sits steadily, my savings enthusiasm has returned also. I am very aware that this will only be for the next three months, and I'll be making the most of that too. The investigating I have to do over the next months (I hope) will be useful for everyone. Now that we're moving with reasonable notice, I can properly check out telephone, gas, electricity and internet providers and set us up with a good deal. Movers, decorators, conveyancers, insurers will all be needed and utilised with minimum expense to us. I hope!